Random and Not So Random Salutations


Dear heebie-jeebies and plastic blue skies * Dear kidneys that were once the size of peanuts walnuts prunes * Dear questionable memory of getting my period my drivers license my first F in both math and science my first bag of weed and my first dye-job all at 3:37pm on a wednesday in 1982 * Dear blood test i wish i could study for and ace * Dear take a deep breath and live in the moment * Dear staring at a zit in the mirror for so long it turns into a lumpy red potato * Dear sacred consecrated hallowed revered divine and blessed sense of humor * Dear failing miserably at living in the moment * Dear spiky things on my kidneys that make them look like medicine balls * Dear favorite word slouch * Dear second favorite word numbskull * Dear listening to a recording of cheech and chong’s sister mary elephant when i was nine and laughing so hard i peed on my brother’s bed * Dear can’t change mostly everything * Dear hate to say it cause i don’t want to jinx it true love * Dear least favorite word incurable * Dear buddhism Dear optimism Dear catholicism Dear alcoholism Dear atheism Dear cynicism Dear precious precious sarcasm * Dear no matter what * Dear maybe just maybe.

First appeared in theNewerYork

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